Conscious Parent: “Our children are not our children but lives yearning to express itself” Khalil Gabriel.
Imagine, that you are having an excellent Saturday. You have organized to have a house party in the afternoon, and you have help to prepare everything you need for it. The afternoon comes and your dear friend start trickling in, the mood in the house is pleasant, the conversation is flowing. Then, your mother arrives and tells you to get out of the house immediately and go to some other location because she said so. She is very impatient and demands the order be followed now! How would you feel about this? Especially knowing that there’s no emergency? Will you stop everything and do what you’re asked? Will you do it happily?
Now imagine your child is playing happily with her friends outside. They are having the time of their lives. Then you appear and say, go home now! Well, imagine how that child feels. They feel bullied, they imagine you’re insensitive. Truly, they might think you don’t actually care or you feel bad when they are happy. They feel you are using your power to coerce them because you know they have no choice. Their perception of you changes bit by bit, their relationship with you becomes more and more distant.
They simply slowly stop trusting that you have the best intention for them. Do you know how you could ease up this situations? You can train them. Tell them that they are needed home by 5pm. Show them something that depicts that its 5pm. Give them time updates. So you can tell them, when this mosque announces prayer, that is 5pm. So I will come and tell
you when its 20 mins to 5pm, and then ten mins to 5pm and then 5 mins to 5pm, then when we hear the announcement, soon after the third reminder, we will go home.
When you give them reminders, do it in a kind and gentle way, and tell them why you are giving them reminders. Eventually, the transition from play to going home will be seamless. Remember to always be conscious parent on the situation you may be creating in the relationship with your child, and keep adjusting it to be favorable for both of you!
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