Conscious Parenting: Introductory session
Conscious parenting is an approach to parenting whose aim is to give the child an opportunity to thrive at expressing life as themselves, and also considering the human-ness of the parent.
The parent is made aware that they are a person who was parented as well, and that they are reflexively bringing with themselves an array of patterns from their own parents. These patterns may or may not be supportive to their own child. That’s why the parent seeking to practice this method is encouraged to be conscious so as not to repeat subconscious behavior.
When a child breaks a glass or porcelain, we automatically react the way our parents did. If our parent shouted at us we do the same. Now the situation may be totally different in this case, but certainly our reaction is subconscious, we replay it without considering the differences in situation. On the other hand if we are conscious, we are able to catch ourselves and stop ourselves from repeating our parent’s reaction.
Now we inadvertently repeat general patterns as well. If our parent made us feel that we don’t belong, or that we don’t matter or that we are not loved, or that we are a nuisance. We will become what we were made to feel. This will be our undertone in the relationship with our children.
If we were made to feel unloved, we will think we are not worthy of love, and even when we are shown love, we will not recognize it. Therefore we will not be able to show anyone else love as we simply don’t have it in us. We don’t know it. This tells us that we will not be able to show love to our child, even though we love them.
If we were made to feel unimportant or that we don’t matter. We will feel like whatever it is that we have to offer is insignificant, we will feel like expressing our truth is ridiculous. We will make sure that we present ourselves as unimportant. This will spill over to our relationship with our child, we will find all means to make them feel unimportant. We don’t do it knowingly, it just happens, because these are subconscious patterns.
On the flip side, because it is the everyday words we use and the every day reactions that form these general patterns, we have learnt these words and when we get a child, we will use these words on them. Because these are words that we know. We don’t know any other words. Normally, telling a child that they have done something good is the best way to
This is where conscious parenting comes in. In this program we are going to be able to:
- Learn how to identify our automatic patterns
- Heal ourselves from the damage that was done during our developing years
- Learn new holistic and supportive patterns
- Learn how to apply the new patterns to our day today parenting situations.
- Some practical solutions to any damage we may have caused while unaware
We have to know that we will perpetuate everything that we got from our childhood. This is because all those patterns we learnt, all those wounds we acquired are present and are running in our subconscious minds. The subconscious mind is the one that runs our lives. Therefore we will inadvertently repeat these patterns unless we are conscious, and we learn alternative methods.
Conscious parenting encourages us to be aware that every interaction with our child is an opportunity to support their needs with love or to repeat abusive patterns. It also encourages us to be gentle with ourselves when we notice that we are repeating abusive patterns.
Similarly, it encourages us to always come back to a place of awareness. Be aware of how our behavior affects us and our child and use our interactions for the benefit of both the mother and child.
Conscious parenting teaches us that our role in the child’s life is supportive and not controlling. We are aware that the child is not ours as such, but life’s longing to express itself. Conscious parenting encourages us to maintain connection to our children. This applies in all parenting situations so as to gauge, what exactly is the best path to take. Considering that whatever path it is, it will show the child that we love them and that we are there to support them.
Conscious parenting recognizes the differences in each situation, and each child. It recognizes that there is no one way to deal with parenting situations.
Welcome aboard, you are taking the right step by looking into this method. I look forward to working together. Enroll to our Conscious Parenting Course and let’s get along, together.
Jessica Bukutsa Masera
MSC Advanced Occupational Therapy.