Parenting: bringing up a responsible child entails a deliberate parental responsibility. As a parent, you have a primary role of bringing up an amazing replica of yourself or even better.
A child who becomes a healthy, well balanced as well as a vibrant adult has the following fulfilled during their first seven years or so.
- They feel loved
- A feeling that they belong
- They feel that their contribution matters
- They feel that they are important
Your child runs to you in the house very excitedly because they would like to tell you that a butterfly has landed on their arm.
They forget the house rules like
- Close the door behind you
- Take your outside shoes off.
They call your attention excitedly and when you look, you see the house rules they haven’t been followed. Maybe even some mud on the tiles. You start shouting at them and asking them why they keep forgetting about house rules and that they should go back and follow these before they come to you and tell you anything.
The child gets discouraged and runs back out.
You have missed an opportunity to connect with your child, be in their world for a moment and get excited and happy with them. You have missed an opportunity to show them love, to show them that they are important to you and what happens to them matters to you. In fact, you have missed the opportunity to show them that their belonging goes beyond the conditions set. Now they feel their belonging is connected to their behavior.
They feel disconnected to you and eventually they will be disinterested in trying because of the volatile nature of this connection.
They come to you excited, calling your attention to having had a butterfly landed in their hands. You see but you decide to overlook the reversible house rules. (The floor can be cleaned later, the door can be closed). You give them all your attention and get excited with them. Ask them about the color of the butterfly and for how long it landed. You ask them how they felt when it had landed. Then you point out that they should remember to close the door and take their shoes off next time.
You have shown them that you love them, that what happens to them is important to you and that they belong to the home first in spite of their behavior. They will feel connected to you and secure in this connection eventually.
This is indeed, a deliberate parental responsibility where each parent has to show. Enroll to our Parenting Class and gain deeper insight on how to be a role model in shaping the future generations through conscious parenting.